


All Tender Yellow-Blue

by like_a_heartbeat_drives_you_mad



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buck Centric, Homophobia, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Protective Eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:28:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like_a_heartbeat_drives_you_mad/pseuds/like_a_heartbeat_drives_you_mad
Summary: Buck was 27 when he met Eddie Diaz.(Or a look throughout Buck's life till he met Eddie)
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 33
Kudos: 415





	All Tender Yellow-Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Back again with my buddie bullshit.  
I'm not so sure about this one but I wanted to write something.
> 
> Title from Halsey's "Clementine"
> 
> "My face is full of spiderwebs, all tender yellow-blue  
And still with one eye open, well, all I see is you"

He was seven years old the first time his father hit hm. 

It was such a stupid thing, what had happened, that he always wondered if his father was just simply waiting for him to mess up just to hit him. 

He was playing with a football, not even inside the house -he knew that was prohibited, there were too many expensive things inside that could be broken- he knew, so he played outside. Still, the ball managed to hit some sculpture in the garden when he hit it, and it broke. His dad had been on his phone, yelling at someone as always, but as soon as he heard the noise of the sculpture breaking, he hanged up, ran up to him and before he could even apologize, he slapped him across the face. Hard. It hurt, but Evan was too shocked to cry. 

“I’m sorry, Evan,” said his father. Although Evan wasn’t sure he was hearing regret in his voice, “but this is your own fault for not being careful.” 

Evan just nodded, head hanging down, and went to his room. That's when he allowed the tears to fall. 

Later, when he went to his mom and told her what had happened, she shrugged and said he probably deserved it, that his father wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t. She didn’t even look at him, her attention held by the drink in her hand. Evan figured it wasn’t that bad if she didn’t react. 

It probably wouldn’t happen again. 

_________________________________________ 

He was ten the first time he broke a bone. Well, actually, someone broke it for him. 

His father was hosting a dinner party for the social circle they were in. He couldn’t call them friends, his parents didn’t have friends, they had people who were as rich as them, or more, with the fancy clothes and houses, and children they paraded around to show their accomplishments. 

Their parents were happy with his sister’s choice of profession, Maddie was going to study to become a nurse as soon as she graduated high school. At first, she wanted to be a doctor, but their father said that was a men’s job, of course. 

Anyway, Evan was told to behave at the dinner party. Or else. By now he knew what the “or else” meant. He wasn’t a fan of it. From that first slap, it had escalated to full on beatings, depending how much he had screwed up. 

They were at dinner, the children eating in silence while the adults talked about their futures. 

“Evan,” his father started, “is going to be a surgeon, of course.” 

He knew better. He did. But he couldn’t help himself. 

“But dad, I want to be a firefighter,” he exclaimed. 

That brought a round of laughter, but as he saw his father give one of his fake laughs, he could see the anger in his eyes. Evan closed his eyes and mentally prepared for what would happen as soon as everyone was gone. 

When the doctor asked gently what had happened, softly touching his broken arm, he looked at him and told him he was climbing a tree when he fell. 

He could almost believe it himself. 

__________________________________________ 

Evan was fourteen when his sister Maddie met Doug. She was twenty-four and had just started working at the same hospital he was doing his residency in. Evan didn’t like him. There was something about the way he looked at her, about the way her sister acted when he was around. He told her sister, but of course she didn’t listen to him. Why would she listen to her fourteen-year-old brother who knew nothing about love? 

What he knew, was that if love was anything like what their parents had, with the yelling and fighting, and throwing things and not speaking, or what his sister and Doug had, which just felt wrong to him, he didn’t want any of it. 

He was fifteen when she moved out to go live with Doug. Sixteen, when she got engaged to him and seventeen when they got married. 

He was twenty-three when he spoke to her sister for the last time in what would later be almost three years. 

______________________________________________ 

He was fifteen when he realized he couldn’t like boys. 

A month before his sixteenth birthday his father walked in on him and Robbie Stevens kissing. Jesus, they were doing an English project and it had just happened it’s not like they planned it or something. He should’ve been more careful,though. What was he thinking kissing a boy in his father’s house. Sure, he wasn’t supposed to be home, but still. 

His father was livid. He told Robbie to go, which he did as fast as he could. Evan couldn’t blame him. 

When his father was finished with him, Evan couldn’t move without making every part of his body hurt. 

“I hope this teaches you a lesson,” said his father quietly, the anger having been take out on Evan’s body already, “if not, I'm just going to keep doing it until it does.” 

___________________________________________________ 

When he was seventeen, Evan made up his mind. As soon as he graduated, he was leaving his house. And hopefully he wouldn’t have to see his parents ever again. He was done. Done with being told how to act, how to dress. Who he had to be friends with and who he had to date. 

When he was eighteen, he grabbed his few things along with the money he had saved up. He bought a ticket to L.A. and without looking back or saying goodbye to anyone, he left. 

When he was eighteen, he felt free for the first time in his life. 

_____________________________________________ 

He was twenty-five when he finally felt safe. 

He was a firefighter. And he had a great team, a great captain. 

He admired Bobby, and he liked how calm he always was. He never raised his voice, never seemed to get angry at any of them. He could mess around with Chimney, and Hen always listened to him, no matter how stupid what he had to say was. Evan felt he had finally found his place. A place he felt safe in. 

Most importantly he felt he had found the family he never really had, but always wanted. 

______________________________________________ 

When he met Abby at twenty-six, he thought, finally. Finally, someone who feels real, who doesn’t pretend to be anyone but herself. Who doesn’t expect anything from him. Someone he could love. 

She made him forget all about his apprehension about relationships, or at least she seemed worthy of giving it a try. It was good, getting that close to someone. Knowing them and letting himself be known. He didn’t regret it no matter how much it had hurt at the end. How much it had hurt, giving his heart to someone only for them to break it, to leave him without a second thought. 

He doesn’t know if he was in love with her. Maybe. Who knows. He knows he could’ve fallen for her, but she didn’t stay long enough for him to find out. 

______________________________________________ 

He was twenty-seven when he realized he was in love. 

After Abby, he figured maybe love wasn’t for him. Or maybe he was just difficult to love. 

It didn’t mean he couldn’t love though. He loved his sister, and he loved his team and he loved Christopher. He definitely loved Eddie. He had never been more sure about anything. 

He wouldn’t have thought so, when they first met, but they became best friends so fast it kinda gave him whiplash to think about it, and before he knew it, he was falling head over heels. Or feet. Boots? Whatever. He was in love with his best friend. He just hoped it wasn’t as obvious as he felt he was. Eddie was someone he couldn’t afford to lose. 

____________________________________________ 

He is hanging out with Christopher in his apartment. They are binge-watching Disney movies, taking advantage of the fact that Buck didn’t have to work today. 

When the doorbell rings he thinks it’s probably Eddie, who got out of work a few minutes early. He is wrong. 

As he opens the door he comes face to face with none other than his father. Before he can do anything, like close the door in his face –like he would ever had the guts to- his father walks in and starts speaking. 

“Hello, Evan,” he said as if it hadn’t been almost ten years since they saw each other. 

As soon as Buck shakes his shock off, and feels he can open his mouth to speak without throwing up, he answers. 

“What are you doing here? How did you even find me?” if he answers with a quivering voice. He thinks he has the right. 

“Is that the right way to talk to your father?” he answers. And suddenly, it’s like he’s a kid again. He can see the anger in his eyes. “I saw you on the news and went to that firefighter station, they send me here.” 

Before he can gather his thoughts to give an answer to that, a voice calls out his name. 

“Buck! Who is it?” and for minute there he had forgotten Christopher was here. He sees the moment his father tilts his head in curiosity and as he turns to look at where the voice came from, Buck panics. 

He grabs his father’s arm to keep him from getting anywhere near Chris. He knows he’s going to regret it but he can’t think anything through right now. 

“No one, Chris!” he yells back, “just stay there, bud!” 

“I would’ve expected a call at least to say you had a son, Evan” and he knew the calm voice he was using did not mean he was calm. 

“I haven’t spoken to you in years, why would I call you?” and he could see the patience was running out of his father. 

He took a step towards Evan but before he could say or do anything, he was interrupted by someone opening the door. 

Eddie smiled as soon as he saw Buck, but when he saw his father, the smile turned into a frown. He didn’t know this man standing next to Buck, too close for comfort. 

“Hey Buck, everything alright?” he asked, frown not leaving his face. 

“Eddie, this is my father Richard Buckley,” Buck said although there was something in his voice that Eddie didn’t like. “Dad, this is Eddie Diaz he i-” 

But before he could finish Chris cheerful voice came from the living room. 

“Daddy!” as Eddie went to greet his son, not without giving a look to Buck as if asking if he was alright, which he nodded to. He saw his father turn to him with a furious look. 

“I see what’s going on,” he said with clenched teeth, “you never cease to disappoint, do you?” 

“It’s not what you think, and even if it was, it wouldn’t be any of your business,” he didn’t know how he managed to said it, but there were no taking backs now. 

“Mind your tone, boy,” he almost yelled, and soon enough Eddie was standing right next to him. 

“What the hell it’s going on here?” Eddie asked, looking from Buck to his father concern all over his face. 

“I see you found someone as sick as you to play house with,” his father said as if Eddie hadn’t even spoken, looking at both of them in disgust. Buck seem to get smaller with every word. 

“Look, sir, you need to calm down, or you need to go,” Eddie with said stern voice. 

“You think you can kick me out of my son’s house?” he scoffed. 

“Eddie,” Buck said with a small voice as he turned to talk to Eddie, “you should take Chris and g-” 

“Like hell, Buck!,” Eddie answered before he could finished, outraged, “I ain’t leaving you with him.” 

“I’m his father, boy” as if that gave him the right to bully and terrify Buck. 

“And I don’t give a shit!” the surprise in his father’s eyes was somewhat satisfying to see. 

“I’m done with this nonsense, you’re coming with me, Evan,” but as soon as he grabbed Buck’s arm, he was sent backwards. 

Because Eddie had just punched his father right in the face. Holy shit. 

The look in his father’s face was hilarious. It looked as if he was shocked, angry and embarrassed all at once. 

“Now,” Eddie said, and he sounded murderous, “you’re going to go back to wherever you came from, and if I see you anywhere near Evan again, que Dios me ayude, I’m going to do more than just deck you.” 

As his father huffed and went right out the door, he turned to look at Eddie who in return was looking at him, worry all over his face. 

“If you’re going to be mad at me for punching your dad, just let m-” 

Buck kissed him so hard he almost knocked him down to the floor. 

When he came back to his senses he backed off and looked at Eddie panicking, he was about to apologize when Eddie grabbed his face with such tenderness he almost melted right there. 

“Buck,” his voice almost a whisper, “Are you alright?” his breath caressing his lips as each word came out of his mouth. 

“I am, now” he answered and this time he didn’t have to kiss Eddie. He kissed Buck himself. 

He is twenty-eight when he is in a loving, established relationship with his best friend. 

_________________________________________________ 

He is twenty-nine when he moves in with his boyfriend and his son. The same age when he gets married, and the same age when Chris calls him dad for the first time. 

It was a great year.

**Author's Note:**

> TRANSLATIONS (because I can't write a fic without Eddie saying at least one word in Spanish.)  
*que Dios me ayude= so help me God.
> 
> Find me on tumblr I'm: golden-retriever-buck


End file.
